Funny Marriage Jokes & Quotations
* When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
* Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
* In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
* Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
* I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
* A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just learn to cook," he said, "we can fire the chef."
"Okay," she said. "And if you learn how to make love, i can fire the gardener."
* A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.
He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?"
The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her so good-looking?"
"So you could love her, my son."
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
"So you could love her, my son."
The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"
"So she could love you, my son."
* What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.
* A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what?"
"What dear?" She asked gently.
"I think you bring me bad luck”